Data Segmentation, Profiling and Analysis
Data Segmentation, Profiling and Analysis. That’s the title someone has given a presentation that I will be giving next week. Gulp.
I have 25 minutes to discuss segmentation, profiling and analysis in fundraising. Double Gulp.
People can spend days, even a week discussing this. What pearl of wisdom am I going to deliver in 25 minutes? Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that if I had longer, I’d offer up any better shiny object. I am questioning what I am going to offer up at all.
Those who know me, will be more than aware that I’m not short of a word on the subject. Those who know me are also aware that I can be reasonably quirky. I try as much as possible to make presentations about data slightly more interesting than cutting your own toenails. By way of example, my last presentation on data involved a toddler sized purple bunny being hurled across the room. At the very least, anyone who was asleep had the very real chance of being hit in the head with presentation collateral.
As I’ve been invited to present as a guest, perhaps this isn’t the best idea. I’m not sure the hosts will look favourably on flying bunnies. Might be an occupational health and safety issue. Unless I get very small and soft rabbits.
My only idea at the moment is to make the ‘presentation’ a little more of an interrogation: where I get to do the interrogating of course! ‘Describe your segmentation of your Christmas appeal’ may yield some interesting responses. Or not as the case may be. Such an approach means a lot of thinking on my feet. This could get me into hot water as thinking on my feet sometimes leads to them being in my mouth. Yet I’m fast realising that the risk of me looking like a goose may be worth it if it results in something more engaging than another data geek with a powerpoint presentation, or prezi, which I think of as powerpoint for those who don’t get motion sickness.
My other fall back options won’t work. Plan a is to pay out marketers. This may be a big mistake in a room likely to be sporting the odd marketing refugee. Then again if I deploy some of that analytical technique I’m supposed to be sporting, I can ‘segment’ the room and assess how many fundraisers we have versus other marketers… like the dreaded brand manager. They’re probably fair game if we have a strong weighting towards fundraisers. I’m racking my brains to try to think of a scenario where the brand manager and the fundraiser were friends. (I’m lucky. We have no brand manager at work. Ergo we have no conflict).
Plan b is to adopt my usual sarcasm about text fairies, murderous databases and colleagues who stuff people in freezers. Actually, this could work. They’ll pronounce me insane within 5 minutes and we’ll spend the next 20 waiting for the little men in white coats to take me away. All that without even packing the flying bunny rabbit.
So I’m back where I started: Data Segmentation, Profiling and Analysis. Gulp.